Congrats, You’ve Quit Booze—Now Get Ready to Dodge Sugar and Caffeine Hangovers

I woke up groggy, my head pounding, eyes bloodshot. It had been a late night with a friend, a series of cocktails was involved, and I clearly overindulged.

Despite what you may be thinking, booze was not to blame. The previous evening, I’d opted for the spirit-free cocktail pairing with my restaurant dinner. I was so focused on avoiding alcohol, I forgot about sugar and caffeine. Over the course of half a dozen libations, I downed a hefty wallop of buzzy lapsang souchong tea, Mexican Coke (a double whammy), and enough fruit juice to open a smoothie joint. I got so wired, I couldn’t fall asleep until just before my alarm went off the next morning.

Not drinking was turning out to be more difficult than I imagined.

Though I still occasionally enjoy a glass of Champagne to celebrate or take a sip of something out of professional interest, I’m generally a teetotaler. My abstinence is not born out of addiction or abuse issues. As I close in on 50, my body is changing. I simply don’t enjoy how alcohol makes me feel in the moment or the aftermath.

As I navigate the world of nonalcoholic drinks, I’ve learned it takes work to enjoy myself. First, it’s key to do advance research on an establishment’s NA offerings to make sure there are strong choices. Online menus aren’t always up to date, so it can be worthwhile to call and see what’s available. This is just the beginning of the detective work for those trying to avoid sugar and caffeine.

Say the cocktail’s ingredient list simply lists ginger. Is that the grated root? Ginger ale? A candied-ginger rim? And the tea—is it decaf or jet fuel in disguise? Get intel from the server or, better yet, the bartender.

Still, I’ve learned to fear the phrase “I’ll just have the bartender whip something up for you” at places without a formalized zero-proof menu. I’m often never consulted on what I might enjoy, and whatever is thrown together is almost guaranteed to be loaded with sugary sodas, juices, and syrups. Thanks for this glorified Shirley Temple that costs as much as an old-fashioned! Now I simply order club soda with half a dozen dashes of Angostura bitters—effervescent, refreshing, surprisingly nuanced.

Before ordering a sweet finale, remember the mockmosas that kicked off your evening were essentially desserts in a glass. It might be best to say no to that sticky toffee pudding.

All this work has its rewards: waking up clear-headed and clear-eyed the morning after a late night of drinking with a friend.

Barmini

José Andrés’s magical mystery tour of a cocktail bar has spirit-free offerings such as the passionfruit-powered, tiki-minded Chief Lap Lapu and the Paloma, which hides hints of sudachi citrus, ginger, and vanilla.

Binge Bar

The District’s first alcohol-free bar creates hangover-free renditions of classic cocktails: a maple-foam-topped espresso martini, a spiced-apple-cider mimosa, and a cranberry-blushed old-fashioned fueled by NA bourbon.

DC Vegan

A quartet of zero-proof sippers elevate the plant-based, Italian-accented dishes at this Dupont restaurant. Try the mango-and-turmeric-brightened Sundrop or the Gardenia, verdant with pressed aloe-vera water, cucumber, and basil oil.

Lutèce

Guests indulging in this Georgetown French restaurant’s tasting menu can opt for a booze-free beverage pairing that might include Leitz sparkling rosé, heritage apple cider laced with smoky tea, and effervescent white-grape/rhubarb juice.

Planta

To complement the vegan kitchen’s pretty plates of Asian- and Italian-inspired fare, the bar crafts fetching NA cocktails, like the coconutty, pineapple-­pepped Saturday Morning Cartoons and the ginger-­spiked Cucumber Mule, with whiffs of thyme and rosemary.

Tail Up Goat

Couple this Adams Morgan destination’s tasting menu with a flight of thoughtfully composed zero-proof cocktails, including surprisingly savory grape verjus and Peruvian chicha morada aglow with purple corn and warming spices.

1310 Kitchen & Bar

Encore-worthy mocktails are named for hit songs by female superstars, like the Proud Mary, a Julep-like blend of pineapple, orange, and ginger ale, and the Shake It Off, a cozy ginger-spiced apple cider with a touch of cinnamon.

This article appears in the January 2024 issue of Washingtonian.

Nevin Martell

Parenting writer

Nevin Martell is a parenting, food, and travel writer whose work has appeared in the Washington Post, New York Times, Saveur, Men’s Journal, Fortune, Travel + Leisure, Runner’s World, and many other publications. He is author of eight books, including It’s So Good: 100 Real Food Recipes for Kids, Red Truck Bakery Cookbook: Gold-Standard Recipes from America’s Favorite Rural Bakery, and the small-press smash Looking for Calvin and Hobbes: The Unconventional Story of Bill Watterson and His Revolutionary Comic Strip. When he isn’t working, he loves spending time with his wife and their six-year-old son, who already runs faster than he does.